


the heart could feel apart (or complete)

by bisexualhotchner



Series: no culture, no plan [2]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Brad comes to terms with his feelings, Explicit Language, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, i literally don't know how to tag this because i forgot what i wrote
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:07:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24181831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualhotchner/pseuds/bisexualhotchner
Summary: Brad comes to Ray after a one-night stand with Ziggy.sequel/immediate aftermath to 'a little wool over the eyes'
Relationships: Brad Colbert/Ray Person
Series: no culture, no plan [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726945
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	the heart could feel apart (or complete)

The note he left Sarah was short and to the point. Square enough that Brad didn’t feel like there were need for any further explanation.

Nevertheless, he found himself answering his phone at 5:45 AM at a remote corner of the Kansas City International Airport, barely registering Mark’s sleepy voice from his own lack of sleep. He would need to find a place to get some coffee around here before heading out to get a rental. ‘I thought you were man enough to handle a duffel bag.’

‘Hey, fuck you too, man.’ Mark laughed, sounding tired. ‘Sarah’s worried sick. She wants to know where you have gone off to.’

Brad took a second to remember his last exchange of words with his ex-fiancée. ‘Taking care of business.’ he quoted his own note, word for word. ‘I’ll be back in California in a few days.’

‘Yeah, we can read, jerk. We wanna know where exactly-‘

‘Don’t you think it’s a little late for her to want to know about all of my business?’ Brad felt his patience leaving him, exponentially more irritated now that he was sleep deprived and about to make the most important decision of his life. ‘I’m not a fucking child to be supervised, and I’m not going to tell you where I am so your tender souls feel at peace, knowing that if I disappear, you can tell the cops where was the last place I went. I’m meeting friends.’

Mark took a second to process all that. ‘Alright, man.’ he then sighed. ‘See you in a couple days.’

He hung up. Brad pocketed his phone, holding his hand out in front of him, palm turned down, to see if it’s shaking. Either it was a little, or he was seeing everything a little more trembling from the lack of sleep.

He was a trained recon marine, he reminded himself. He’s been through worse. He was the fucking Iceman, and he was going to confess his feelings to his RTO.

But first, he would order the largest portion of caffeine the airport café offered.

The worst thing about driving four hours on zero to none hours of sleep and severely jetlagged was trying to avoid any speeding tickets. Brad had actually had the passing thought halfway down the road that he should’ve just waited until they all got back to California and then fly down to pay him a visit, but he had quickly made the argument against himself that a) he did not want to be with his friends’ company a minute longer than necessary and b) if he wasn’t going to do it right now, he might never actually go out of his way to do it.

Even just thinking about it made his heart beat in his throat. His ears were ringing, his hands were clammy gripping the steering wheel, and he told himself it’s all because of the combination of too much coffee and too little rest. He glanced down at the meter, and eased his feet off the gas just a little, ignoring the burn in his thigh muscles as he did so.

Brad travelled eight hours, paid a fuckton for a rental and the last-minute flight ticket, all while being fucked out, travel-sweaty, and feeling exactly as worn out as he did while being deployed, on his off time, and he was going to fucking explode right on Ray’s front porch if the little shithead wasn’t going to answer his door at 10AM on a Saturday.

Since he also didn’t happen to have a goddamn doorbell, Brad had to keep on knocking, hoping that one day maybe he’ll even get an answer, hopefully before his next deployment. He wasn’t usually this impatient, but something about the whole situation made him itch inside with something that others might call nervousness. The Iceman knew better than to be nervous.

‘I swear, Ray, I’m dragging your ass out and I’ll whip you on the sidewalk if you don’t come out now.’ he barked, just as the thought crossed his mind: he may be out. Ray might be banging strangers like he did, and mentally preparing himself for a walk of shame across the remote suburbs of Nevada, Kansas right now. Brad didn’t know why the thought settled a cold, heavy feeling deep in the pit of his stomach.

‘Motherfucker,’ Ray said from behind the door, and Brad’s sudden wave of nausea evaporated. ‘I’m trying to make up for a full month’s worth of sleep here.’

Brad fondly smiled at how rarely he seemed to make sense, stepping away to let Ray open the door and the window-screen for him. Ray was wearing only a pair of boxers, lean muscles and tanned skin all visible, tattoos dark, trashy and beautiful. His still-short hair – yet to grow out – was flat on one side from the pillow.

He blinked sleepily. ‘Brad? What the fuck are you doing here?’ he squinted up at him, then shook his head. ‘Am I fucking dreaming?’

‘No, Ray. It’s “Hello sergeant, long time no see. Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?”’

Ray momentarily shut his eyes, trying to fight down the need to go back to sleep right then and there, holding onto the door frame. Brad did not doubt that he would be capable of it. ‘Sure man, whatever.’ he yawned, heading back inside the house in a manner of unspoken invitation.

Brad stepped inside, promptly lowering his head to avoid knocking it into the frame. He pulled the window-screen shut behind him, leaving the door open in case Ray wanted to let in some fresh air.

‘Kitchen’s in the back.’ he heard Ray say, already disappearing into what Brad thought was his bedroom. ‘I got leftover coffee from tomorrow? Figure out the machine if you’re picky about that.’ Brad smiled to himself at that, soft and fond. He shrugged out of his leather jacket and threw it over the back of Ray’s couch as he made his way down the corridor. ‘Oh, and I actually have milk for your all-homosexual latte needs.’

‘A latte isn’t just coffee and milk, Ray.’ Brad said as he grabbed a mug from Ray’s cupboard, and went over to pour himself some of that stale leftover coffee he could bitch about later. ‘It’s an art form.’

‘Sure thing, Big Gay Brad.’ Ray teased him, but the neck of his shirt caught on his face, so it came out all muffled. Brad looked at him from over his shoulder, struggling to put that shirt on, and his chest contracted so painfully, that for a moment he thought he was going to have a heart attack.

He put down the jug of coffee, and turned to him.

‘Ray, I’m in love with you.’

Ray blinked at him stupidly over the neck of the shirt. He scrambled to find the hem of it, yanking once, hard, to get it fully over his torso. ‘What the fuck?’

‘Feel free to call me a homosexual again, because I just admitted to being in love with you.’ Brad turned back to finish pouring his coffee. ‘And since you’re out anyway, I just won’t pretend to care about DADT anymore. One day, I’ll get your redneck ass to come live with me in California and leave this fucking place that you just keep on bitching about.’ He walked over to the fridge, snatched the milk from the shelves on the door. He read the label. ‘Are you taking lactose pills for this thing?’

‘Actually, Brad, sometimes it feels nice to shit yourself from a glass of milk.’

‘You’re a fucking moron is what you are, Ray Person. All the more reason for you to move in with me so I can supervise your diet.’

‘I- what the _fuck_ , Brad?’ Ray yelled, and Brad thought he was going to sound so stupid in a second. ‘It honestly took you this fucking long to realize?’

Well, even he can be surprised. ‘I’m sorry, Ray.’ he murmured, stepping closer to cup his face with his hand, just because he could. And because it felt so great when his skin warmed up under his touch. ‘I’m here now.’

‘I’m not moving to California, what’s wrong with you?’ Ray laughed a little, overwhelmed by it all. Brad could see his lips trembling. ‘That state’s gay.’

‘We _are_ gay, you dumb hick.’ Brad said, lovingly. ‘And I need someone to house-sit for me next time I’m deployed.’

‘So now you’re making me a housewife? Shut the fuck up, dude, your house did okay on your last few tours, too.’

‘Back then I had Sarah to have my back, but things are a little complicated between us right now.’

‘You mean, they haven’t been complicated since she dumped you for your best friend?’ Ray gave him an incredulous look, and Brad felt even more fond for him. He also wished he could just dump him in the garbage disposal. ‘Wait. Brad. You mean you finally told her off? Are you a man now?? Let me see the balls you just grew, dude,’

‘Only after I properly wine and dine you will you see my balls.’ Brad insisted, cracking a grin at the little eyebrow wiggle Ray gave him at that. ‘Again. I assume you’ve been jerking off to my flaccid penis since we were deployed in Iraq?’

‘Oh, way before that. And if you think I’ve only seen it soft, you really gotta be a bit more alert of your surroundings during a combat jack.’

‘Thank fuck we’re not overseas now, because I wouldn’t get to do this.’ Brad smiled, planting his free hand on the small of Ray’s back, and pulling him close enough that their chest almost touched. He let Ray slide his hands up his chest, he let him wait for it, make him desperate a little, only giving in when Ray had already had his fingers locked on the nape of his neck, tugging him down.

Only then did he lean down to plant a soft kiss on his mouth, actually smiling into it from the rush of joy that washed over him.

Either here, in California, or deployed in Iraq – he knew that they would be alright now.


End file.
